the million miles
it took you to get here
these gates
are rusted
give up
the thousand thoughts you carried
through every trial
they're not enough
I only hoped
that when you got here
there'd be nothing left
but here I am
and we go at it
as if
neither one of us
has ever (been) hurt
or felt pain
or been through
enough
we go at it
for ourselves
for our selfishness
in defense of our whole story
out of sadness for our suffering
we justify
against the other
our own injustices
My Love
you would take me to market
if you could feel better
if it would free you
if all of those steps could be reduced to one
you would sacrifice
my pitiful turbulent chastity
My Love
if it would bring relief
from this hollow knighting and harrowing checkmate
I would leave you at the altar
I would run from my compassion I have patched together
to make you hear my whole story
Those gates are rusted
my Beloved
because our tears
have not been
for one another
but for ourselves we cried
to be victors in a match of victims
(we have fought)
the prize to be the neediest, saddest, weariest
has taken us
to a whole new level
of losing
the way to our own heart
Your Love
is all I ever wanted
but my love
has been a twig in a life of forest fires
I think about that twig
a thousand times
and each thought
is not enough to redeem my faith in love
but You
paving the way with your competitive grief
and relentless wounded ego
keep laying down the gauntlet
without fail
and in the paralyzing commitment to practice our combat
I fall madly
surprisingly
in love
Your Beloved
