Love Letter 266 This Act

I leave you

because it's the only thing to do

the only thing I've learned

to do

I press my bed against the wall

so I feel safer

the wall does not think me silly

so this is

the way

I've lived

all things in their place

of making sense

sometimes

and so

I

use

this

all the time

as my default

I have not followed you up to bed

because I know

there is warfare

around the corner

sometimes

so I

will avoid

it all

sleep tight

I will say

walking out

to my own ambivalence and anger

You hear me

in my footsteps

and the shutting door

is like a lid on a coffin

except, my love

that I have bowed down

in the ashes

of your throne/crown tore off me

and I have let you ride

a zillion times

on my white magnet horse

and I have given you up

so someone might know

you deeper

and wake your art

(more fully)

and my dear

I have practiced

looking long and hard

at my weakness

as you praised me

and hid

your very last thought

and my beloved,

from this threshold

of the door shutting

I can see

that God is not wearing

my

illusions

I can feel you put your head

on the pillow

in my heart

there are poems

about this act

but for now

I will let sleep take you

while I learn

I love you,

Your Beloved