in safety
I could not trust
Until I had clean water
I could not drink
until I had your face to look at me
I could not believe my own existence
Beloved
you have been a creature clawing at my cardboard shield
with the sword of de-separation
I clung to that edifice like a victim
saluting it, like a flag
I have only seen
one or two
flashes
of your light
as they swiped at my illusions
and malaise of fear
but I have relished
them
like havens
in the midst of my defenses
and prayed through the glare of my curses
they would succeed
I Love You
Your Beloved
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