Love Letter 143 Canyon

Do NOT let me fall behind in my love!

Everything I do

is inspired by your love!

do not

let me pause so long in query

when the truth is there,

rich and arising.

do not let me

utter on

about what does not enthuse me,

when I can be

focused

on the most gorgeous

existence

given!

do not let me

live

less

than

when I can have Love,

boundless and pure,

in every hand

and every heart

just by Listening

again

to You

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 142 A Boiling Pot

Lover!

Must we always negotiate?!

Can't I just Love You the way I Love You?

Trust me,

in all my imperfection

there is love.

in all my forgetfulness

and hunger

and questioning

and sorrow

insecurity

and insensitivity,

I am trusting you to love me

enough to know,

I Love You.

I am trusting

You

to see

beneath and beyond

all the barnacles

into my love-stained heart

into my well worn turgid aorta

and completely SEE

what I cannot always polish

in time

to show you

THAT MY LOVE IS REAL

MY LOVE IS TRUE

and even uncertainty

can bring

NEW FRAGRANCES

of ALL KINDS OF LOVE

and that even in this moment, when I have not softened

or surrendered,

I am still turning in a whirlpool

of your love

and I AM FULLY GRATEFUL

I AM FULLY FILLED WITH GRATITUDE

(despite all appearances)

and I have not forgotten how to love!

no.

It is just...

that

this is love too, and that and this

and all of it put together

tangles and knots

hinged and unhinged

all of it

IS LOVE.

Your Beloved

Love Letter 141 Good Fortune

My Dear and Darling Beloved,

How are you now?

Now that the world has fallen off your shoulders and at your feet,

are you feeling my love?

Are you able

to feel the Love I am laying all over you, its traces like David and Joan of Arc?

Are you able to palpate the places it goes

in your body, ideas, and moves?

Is there a way that it comes to you

at night

or at dawn

when I am just thinking of you, from here

and you are realizing

that thought

from there?

Thus bringing us together

or reminding us

we are

already

in this One hemisphere, atmosphere,

cosmic whole?

Am I paragliding

into your arms

yet?

or do you still see me

at the top

of that hill

with the sun

willing to you give you its gold?

Even if there is no wind

today

I will

show up

in your arms,

Beloved.

for that is what I do.

Come to you

every moment of every moment.

there is no surrender

to the silence

I give to you

only

the constant

giving

of the Lover

and the Beloved

Silence

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 140

Your preciousness has a flavor all its own

and I am rewarded just thinking of it.

I carried you on my heart for years, and then I opened it,

and you fell in.

If I had known

how easily

you'd love me

I would have

given up my fear

sooner.

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 139 I Am not Pretending

I have been on and off the wagon so long, my feet do not know solid ground

Your eyes more important than the doorway to God

alas,

they are

that doorway.

Blindness is with me, like a companion

and I think of you.

tossing and turning, I fall off and climb on,

no hero exists in these long slow catapults to trying.

but

before I give up

I am still saying

over and over

"I Love You

I Love You

I Love You"

let that mean something.

no matter

what else I do.

Your Beloved

Love Letter 138 Push Me

I am not finished with you yet, my Love

Your boisterous pushing into the fire where all my ancient breathing began

is a hostile invitation to love

and I will

take it!

Consume Me

in the river of your trust or mistrust

your mercy

or your mercilessness.

There is no guilt in Loving you

no guilt in Love.

and so,

for all passion's requests,

and every hesitant bow --

push me

PUSH ME

ever gloating into the fire of Your Love!

I Love You

Forevermore

Your Beloved

Love Letter 137 Buoyancy

when I am blue, Beloved

I dwell on You

Your bounty, beauty, Your innocence

become my color

changes my palette

allows new light

When I left the ocean, today

that sea's edge

crystallized in my mind

as a calling

and I could not take my eyes

away

from that estranged part

of myself

You

water

my

garden

I did not want to leave you

and that bath of tears

journeyed me

into new lands

where my boat

had no buoyancy

and I knew

that

returning

was

always

the only option

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 136 Captain of the Ship

You ARE Beautiful!

Mooning like a midnight rose,

rising up from the ripe day lilies, you lick your ancient aquifer of all defying feats and meet me at the elaborate ache of my own enchanted lies where I exasperate myself,

into full docility and mortal vicissitude.

I want something else, something sweet, something salty

and there you are

in the exact place of my ache

where all my snarling has turned to knots in the beautiful branching of a tree

"why have you not heard me?" you say

"why have you not felt the landing of simplicity and the wild fawn drink of the foolish stars?"

"why have you not undone this doing, by waiting for a while, in sanity,

so that the spell of your fear, might be broken?"

"why have you crossed over the same path, without noticing that I am here?"

I am ashamed at first,

but then, I stop

the insanity of shamefulness

and just watch

how your hand

has reached out

across the universe

And the abyss

and scooped up paradise

just for me.

How willingly you

fill the void

and replace

all that shadow talk

with bedroom eyes.

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 135 In the Requiem of Silliness

I pictured you, like this

then, like that,

and before I knew it ---

Life was all about the pictures.

Your standing there,

like the Tree of Knowledge, did not make me wise.

Instead I searched for your image.

Like a holy copier, I spent money and hours tracking your sighs

but never did any Living thing

match

the deaf, dumb idle* in my mind.

Oh well.

Even forgiveness cannot change the silliness of all my actions.

I will never capture LIGHT

Thank God!

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 134 Which East is West?

There are chapters written about us

in the bibles...

The myths of men

and ancient heroes.

I hear(d) the sun rises in the East

But the moon never sets.

Tell me, my love,

Does the Earth Move?

and who is accurate, as we orbit what we say sets?

I have long fingered your hair with my thoughts... but it has not made you more beautiful.

Love always is

and so these what ifs are just like bibles:

words spill over us, because we have not learned/heard the Sacredness of silence.

yet it still exists.

As we do.

In the Presence of our Love.

I Love you now,

I Love you still,

Your Beloved

Love Letter 133 Pontification, My Love

Would you prefer I go on and on

chasing ghosts with my words

to entertain you?

or just one swift

night

face to face

in the umber

of that one-eyed moon

where we cannot utter

our longing

but only grope

with our eyes

at the sufficient recognition

of Our Love?

I Want Only You

If You Can Remember This

We Will Prevail

I will long for You

or Live for You

whatever you choose, My Love

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 132 My ReWard

It's not enough

that I jot down

a few

wholesome thoughts

so fleeting

I will rage within forty seconds

and forget the face of God

no

but sometimes

when I have no herbs for tea

and my mind

has been like a fish in Venice

I must hope

you will see

that

I have given

today

all I have

I must hope

that these canals

will stop jerking

into underworlds

and collecting

into asphalt

and that the storm

will wreck me

only

half-heartedly

and that

those feet

which meet

in St. Mark's Square

will

be dancing

to something

good

I must hope

that when

I come up

for air

you will remember

I was

down

at the bottom of the sea

writing you

a poem

while

I was still

drowning...

forgive me all my coined words

for I am paying a ransom

so worthwhile

I will let it take me

all my years

if it lets me

beg you

for Love

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 131 S.O.S!

Beloved!

I AM PERFECTLY FINE!

There is NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!!!

What should I do?!!!!!

Your Beloved

Love Letter 130 the rolling stone

Forever, I have counted

on

You Being Here

and

here You are

how long I have been playing Sisyphus

when really

the stone

needed to

STAY

at the bottom of the hill

and

if I had just let it

roll

I would have been relieved

of all my illusory

waiting

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 129 In Case

eventually...

I will stop nodding my head

in fascination

and just

drop my jaw

at your feet

with one long

WOW

of silence

and hope

you will carry me

to a soft place

and wet my lips

with your stare

in case

I should

want

to

talk about

all that AWE

I love you

Your Beloved

Love Letter 128 In the Bounty of Reality

Dear One,

When you sent me that look

I was visibly changed

by your perception

and Your Love

arose in My Heart

like a Mosaic

of God

where

everything

exists

in Harmony

and I can go there

full of sand

and dripping

of the sea

smothered in a Mother's kiss

as lost as I want to be

and your eyes

find me

irresistible

I love You, My Love

Your Beloved

Love Letter 127 Your Perfect Luster

Because

the world came

all at once

like a child

laughing

in the fresh air

I fell in love

Because nomads wandered deserts

and rains fell

on open seas

my body

rearranged itself

to fit

You

Because

whether I insisted or resisted

You would Exist

like a limber Moon

ecstatic star

unavoidable sun

and I am glad

that

nothing I do

or don't do

can change

Your Perfect Luster

and any shape I make

is Yours

I Love You

because

it is so simple

to be in Love

with You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 126 Pine-needle Soup

The World tells me to Love You

but I laugh...

I cannot be told to love

by anything other

than Love itself

shape-shifting my heart

for its own ends

and so

whilst I was climbing

Love grabbed Her hold

Her vision moving through me

like a herd of blooming violets

and I came so close

to becoming

their field

but then

like purring insects, they crystallized in

to You

and the whole world

blushed

for Love's Lucky Wand

which does all

with nothing but

Love

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 125 And On the Eight Day

Perfection radiates from every Way

every Bodhi Tree

Every Philosophy of Love... EVERY EXPERIENCE OF LOVE

I have channelled peace like a conch, wading through the water

and then

I met you

and sailing on the sea, of eternal grace

your waters parted

and I saw

The Spot

where everything...

all "Ways" come together

and that Spot

was ... is God

I have returned to You, Oh Holy One

and You have Blessed me with a Portal

Within Myself

to You

I Am One

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 124 Ancient Seas

Come with Me

Let the Light Be Our Reason

Let the Immortal Open the Crease, we have been lost in

I want to Be with You

to See You

to Read Upon You the Ancient Scripts of All the Seas

to Combust in You

So I am empty

and all my ash

flowers at Your Well

I Love You

Do Not Disappear

Your Beloved

Love Letter 123 Virtue

From the music of the spheres, the very mortal moves to Light

and we appear, to each other

again and again

flames on the labyrinth of all God's portals

flames on the labyrinth

melting sand

back into Ocean

and Ocean

and Sea Me Arising

Out of the Moist Air

miracles forming

in the way I kiss

Everything You Are

Ecstasy Ecstasy

Ecstasy

is So Easy

When You Are Near

and you appear

in my Embodiment

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 122 How I Make the Bed

I have written to you

over a hundred times

in this, virtual world

but

on my lips

the prayer of you

STAYS

forever

not measured by time,

or attempts

not counted on fingers, stars, quotients

not imagined

in nectars

so vast

even the nuance of flavors

cannot be imitated

but

forever

where 100

is not a number

and all the letters in all the universes

are mere

spittle

on the fit of an engine

where all my words

to you

like silent pens

pulling back their ego

so

I could

hear

the lips

I inherited

(by Light)

utter

(not argue)

for the foreverth time

how

You and Love

ARE THE SAME VIBRATION

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 121 Make Me Real

Why did you accuse me

of becoming

a ghost?

Haven't I sat here

forever

waiting to worship You?

Haven't I wanted your YES

for a thousand years

before

words were uttered?

Haven't I washed out my mouth

just to prepare?

I have wanted

you

forever

and

I Am still here

cursing

separation.

Can you forgive me

for faking my own death?

How can I incarnate

more clearly for you?

and pander

NOW

to your intention?

How can I Give You Myself

without Interruption?

Can your faith be renewed, Beloved?

Will YOU Make Me Real?

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 120 Sweep Away

Because empires were built

on guilt

for

forgetting God

I have come

to topple

your tower

of truth

so that

opals

may arise

and the lotus

may live

and all that disharmony

can come to a halt

where armies

once marched

and now I

stand

with everything I have given up

lost

in order

to receive

YOU

and this is my work

everyday

so that we may meet

at the summit

of Now

where a Beginning

is Born

out

of Us

and I can sweep away guilt

with forgetfulness,

to know God

I love You,

Your Beloved

Love Letter 119 In You

Dear Beloved,

Amidst this grief, I am bending in such great reverence...

In this woe, I worry not

because all my aspirations

are of no merit

unless

I release

them

to the field of light

which carries me

upon it

toward You

I must give homage

in order to understand

the great humility that underlies all great men

I must listen

to even what I deem tedious

in order to cultivate

a patience

which will do to me

God's will

I must leave

behind

all notions

of what you are

and surrender

to who is standing there

now

While

I describe my blindness

I must still

be

AWAKE

I love you

Your Beloved

Love Letter 118 Allegiance

Once we are together

~no different from now~

Being Together

is not understood

by physical mass

or means

but by the heart

palpitating

like angels

steadily eclipsing the ego

with a Taste of God

I love You

I Adore You

You Are and Have my Heart

Your Beloved

Love Letter 117 This, I Know

Every day I wait for you

YOUR EYES TO OPEN

Your Immortal Essence

to Impress on Me

THE BEAUTY OF THE MOMENT

dew, never before seen

dazzles on your irises

dawn engages my reflex

to consume you

and bow

back and forth, never leaving the middle of your sound

wholly in the pupil

holy in the convex portal

I AM

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 116 Ecstatic Venom

I Am dreaming of you

Your ecstasy; my poison

Why?

because like a viper, your venom awakens me

to WHAT IS LIFE

and all the debris

loosens from my vertebrae

and leaves me

only

OMNI

POTENT

I Love You

Freely

Your Beloved

Love Letter 115 Again For the First Time

Beloved, Beloved at LAST!

Each day we are together, yet strings still sound an alarm, each time you're near!

I will never forget that feelings, and yet, it is new, each time again!

Your blossoming beauty

always unfolding for the first time

releasing peace into the air!

I hold your hand to steady myself on your beauty

to be ever close

to wander the earth with your love, in my heart, fully intact, yet flowing out, to all beings

at a pace I cannot measure, yet unstoppable, and endless.

Ever vast, our Love, overflows to all that lives, seen and unseen, overflows to lead me on, to steer my face to yours

again tomorrow

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 114 Beloved Blueprint

What world is this, that I am allotted so much love!?!

so much infinite, foot sinking, heart elevating love?!

Into the Earth I go, with a chalice of Art

all forms, like milkweed walking on the Wind of your embodied Heart.

I am formless, then like light to color, I take shape and flight

and fill in all the freeways with my blueprint for a garden

I am planting

which each

letter

I write you

because

You

are my Beloved

and You

have given me

the will

to give

In Harmony,

Your Beloved

Love Letter 113 Of Love Songs

Beloved, let me offer you

my latest song

my incantation

of how our love will feed the world

how our kindness will merit goodness

how our contentedness will bring peace

how our sincere action

will inspire

committed love

from the masses

who wish

in their own

songs

for their love

to do

what love does

through us

and so

too

through them

for All

I Love You

Your Beloved

Love Letter 112 Lament

At first

I wondered

if I had made

the right choice.

decisions, sometimes, are like seesaws

but

once

I took the next step

I knew

Every step

leads to You

yes or no

is not the answer

only YOU

fulfill my questing

and questioning, my love

ONLY YOU

I Love You

Your Beloved