Love Letter 151 Because I Still Don't Know

Have you been reading me?

All my giddy prose in every proportion of loving you?

Am I not elaborate?

simple?

transfixed enough? that you choose to be mysterious, and I must play

hide and seek

like a child

still holding her blanket, as she peeks around the furniture?

I WANT TO KNOW YOU

is it so hard to believe,

or am I foolish to think

that knowing you

is one event?

must I trek up this hill, just to roll again down

and find you anew, renewed, and different? expanded?

is it you --- ever changing

or my perceptions... my ability to perceive, which might shrink and grow

depending on my willingness to see?

I want You

isn't that enough

to convince you

that all my foolishness

is still a stubborn attempt at love?

Can't you just find me adorable

as I flit and folly, finding my way through the cracks in my own created holograph

and Can't you

just give me the benefit of the doubt

on the days

I am too lonely to write a perfect script

and cut cliche from my vocabulary?

I know you are.

but am I?

Can I

let Your love in

when I am lonely

and corroborating with self-doubt...?

Can I see

that you are still that steady encounter

of two doves

arcing in slow motion

to a beat

only comparable

to the human heart?

Help me, to see Beloved

Help me, to know, for sure

that I Am Loved

Your Beloved