Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Love Letter 281 You Are Quiet

I act
like
we have forever

my words, take your ears for granted

each time I play a card, I look into the mirror
and say
"no good"

but this, only works, in solitaire.

because

when we play together...

...when I play with you

you say "every one is good, every one is beautiful, every one is worth it"

and I feel
something
other
than
loneliness

because when you say "every one is good, every one is beautiful, every one is worth it"
you are telling me
I am good, I am beautiful, I am worth it

and this
little brick
breaks through the mirror
in my
solitaire

and there is no
looking back
at me
badly

no interrogation

only the divine line, I cross
when we
play cards

I let you win

because
being with you
is winning

when when I'm with you
I am winning

Oh God,

I am a silhouette, mixed with many waters
my banks are dry
and yet I chat with wild onions
and the grilling of delectable sin
I wade through the answers
to come up
like trout into the fisher's boat
but I am holding
you
inside of me

Oh Beloved
your songs are my knees in solicitation
and my weeds
keep growing, though you are pouring down The Friend
and my weakness
speaks underwater
and all that silver lining my eyes
is still a stitch of hell

Beloved
we channel through each other
and this time,
You are God

why have I forgotten, all the gifts I held?
and underneath these blankets,
are my dreams?!
just poems powered by my greed?
incessant demands for your return?
chasms with switchboard co-operators?

I sugar coat You
just to strip you down
and then I let you give me
everything

when I complain
there are ribboned birds planning winter
and swans necking
in the audience
of my
flaws

I love you
stretching all your crosshairs
to meet me
in my
civil
war

I love you
breaking bread
over my
queen, king, ace

I love you
unloading the car of clowns
on my
root lock

You are my God
and I only
act
like You Are
when my microphone
is unplugged

I act
like we have forever
but
each dream
wakes from itself
wakes me
from you
and I wrestle
with
giving up
sleep

I Love You
Your Beloved


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