Watering the Garden
or watching flowers Bloom?
I have gone a long way from my proposing.
so undaunted by my own ego I have gone lax
sugar plums and eucalyptus drop from the trees to know you
and I have forgotten what I was meant to do .
In the beginning I gathered 40 buckets
cleaned them til they were still.
I knew meditation
I carried Your name like the Breath of the One.
Always on me burning within.
I moved from room to room
grove and orchard
lake and hill
I found buried treasure but left it for the natives ---
honey , honey nectar was all I sought.
Your name came back in and out. your breath, my breaths, the One.
I made a pact
to unite you
with the 7 tribes and the holy ghost
I collected collected collected
climbing, crawling, begging, borrowing, worshipping
each drop I might be bringing to you.
And then.
someone said something.
and I lost track of that great admiration
I was having for you.
I began to notice myself.
I began to drink honey and hone my own halo
I became drunk with the sorrow of one who is a slave to his own separation
I gave up prayer and sat in awe of myself
I told secrets
I left the puzzle unfinished and I paraded what I had collected all in the name of you
Then I sold it.
Drip by drip
Delicious ripe spigots of melodious juice.
I gave up chanting and looking at the moon.
Men would ask for cigarettes and I would burn them.
and then, I came to one town at the edge of a cliff, where a girl
was crying. the aching of the sound brought me to offer her
the buckets I had left.
Empty, but still sticky with residue of nectar,
I was tired of carrying what I now had the courage to drop. and so
I put them down
in a small circle at her back.
all of a sudden
the buckets began to spill and overflow
nectar nectar everywhere
until in it I was caught.
my feet, soaking up the sweet potion began to sweat, my body
lost balance and I fell into the perfect mess
paralyzed with emotion and overcome with trepidation
curses were all I said --
but the night ran clear
and the whole fabric of Dawn chimed in --
and there you were.
the crying girl -- my Beloved.
watching my commotion, you said,
"My love. I have always been here. It is you who left your own heart
visiting these visions instead of loving what is already here"
and then you lifted me
out of the transparent chaos and washed me your kerchief.
You pressed your heart to mine. then
pushed me over the edge.
and as I was falling
I remember hearing you say
"You
are Free"
How holy is your freedom, my Beloved?
I Love You
Your Beloved
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